Keep smiling.



I considered myself lucky, in a sense that when I was growing up, my family did not force me into a box to conform the norms of society.

Back in elementary, I did not gravitate towards the boys playing tag out in the field, but I stayed inside the classroom, playing paper dolls with the girls.

I had my first love when I entered 6th Grade. He was my first and greatest love. And somehow I still carry that torch.

I knew my parents knew something was... Different. But they never made a huge fuss over it.

I opened up to my dad about me being gay when I was 18. I knew he was hurt. I knew he was scared for me. But like a man, I showed him that I can be tough and take all the difficulties that comes along with being gay.

I opened up to my mom just this year. I know she was hurt and scared too. And still she does not believe. But I know she already knew about it. And I will prove to her that I am strong. I will make her proud.

My sisters know about me being gay. And they still love me for it.

I know I am blessed.

But other people are not as lucky as me.

Discrimination is all around. In school, at work, and even within their families.

The same discrimination that lead countless people to end their lives, because they thought they cannot bear it any longer.

I can't help but think that, if I did not have the love my family gave me, would I be just another headline on the morning paper? To be talked about in hushed tones, laced with fake regret, telling anybody who is willing to listen that "he was 'SAYANG'"?

I know it is difficult. I am being discriminated as I am, for being FAT, which I know I can change.

But what about being GAY? You simply cannot change being gay. It is not a switch you can simply turn off. It is NOT a choice. It is what we ARE. Being discriminated for being gay is like being discriminated for being ASIAN, for being BLACK, for being a JEW, for being MUSLIM, for being CRIPPLE, for being BLIND, for being WHAT YOU ARE.

To all my bothers and sisters who are experiencing discrimination in any shape or form, I tell you this.

IT GETS BETTER.

Its certainly difficult to believe that everything will be okay when you are in such a dark place right now. But believe me, it will get better.

You might feel alone right now, but you are not. There are millions of us who are still in the dark, trying to find our way out. Don't lose hope. Reach out, and you might just hold someone else's hand, who is also looking for the right path.

Amidst the tears and the heartaches and the hardships, there will always be smiles and laughter and happiness.

Keep smiling. Keep your chin up. And keep the flame burning bright.

You are not alone. You are loved.

1 comments:

ate bing said...

thank you for sharing, ding! and thank you, too, for recognizing that we love you :) acceptance is part of being family, and the whole world is one big family. and being family means looking after each other, respecting each other and helping each other... no matter the race, color, belief or gender preference.

in life there is hope... always!

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