I guess we all know that it is a universally accepted fact that appearances can be deceiving. Yet somehow, almost always, people assume that I'm something that I am most definitely not. One look at me, and the gears in their brains start turning. But most often than not, they are proven wrong. Sometimes its just funny, but most often then not, it is annoying as hell. Some examples are as follows:

- People think I am a snob.

I can't blame you. When I look at myself in the mirror in the morning, even I get scared. And even when I'm cleaned up, I still look mean.

And now that I have a mohawk, I look like I'm about to make victims out of innocent little babies. And that's just me trying to look "nice".

But seriously, I am not mean... Sometimes.

Kidding.

I may look mean maybe because I am huge (and this is NOT a sexual pun) and have this "annoyed bitch face" ON at all times. But do try to talk to me (and if you are attractive, make sure to leave your number) and I won't bite. Unless if I like you and you are into that thing... (now THIS is a sexual pun. but you didn't probably need my help in pointing that one out. i will shut up now...)

- People think that I am just another flaming faggot.

Well, I AM a flaming faggot. But what is wrong with being such? Being flamboyant doesn't mean I will go out and eat you and your family alive like a deranged zombie. It doesn't mean that I will rub off my flamboyant-ness on you and turn you gay. If you think being gay is an infestation and if that is how YOU think the world works, then clearly it is not me who needs help. I like to keep the flames of my faggotry burning brightly, thank you very much, and no bigot will keep me from being who I am.

Seriously. I have met a LOT of people claiming to be cool with the whole gay thing, but are like "Whoah man, don't go there, I'm not gay or anything." and this was coming from a guy who I was just trying to offer a cigarette! The nerve! Not all gays are after you! We are not as penis-hungry as you think we are!

 - People think that I am a promiscuous hoar.

1. Thanks. If you only knew. My sex life is as arid as the Australian Outback. It is as desolate as Somalia. It is in so much need of help that UN should start sending relief efforts. Angelina Jolie would probably want to adopt kids from it. Although I hope she brings Brad Pitt too.

2. You are giving me too much credit. Although I may look like a bitch, but when this bitch goes home at night (and sometimes this bitch breaks dawn),  this bitch goes home ALONE.

3. I wish.

 - People think I am shallow.

Yes. I am shallow. There. You win. PHBBBT! >:P

 - People think I am childish.

...See above.

 - People think I am funny.

I'm not funny. Although I try to be funny, and then miserably fail. Then the awkwardness comes in. And THEN it becomes funny. But I'm still not funny.

 - People think I am a voracious eater.

Yes. I will not even attempt to lie about it. Food is my addiction (together with Japanese Porn and RH). Honest. I will love you forever if you go out and food trip with me. Ginabot, kwek-kwek, siomai, lartian bbq, urgello bbq with the super yummy hot sauce, liempo. Those are a few of my favorite things. Thinking about it makes me get up and sing. While eating. And spinning around Marry Poppins style. Oh and CAKES too. Yum...

 - People think I am dumb.

Not as dumb as they are. Meh. Peons. What do they know. Hahaha! But seriously, I am blessed (or cursed, depends on the perspective) with really intelligent and witty friends. If I am being smartass about something, blame THEM. Although I can never compare to my friends. I am just the laughing track. But I'm still the prettiest. ^_^

AAAaand the list goes on.

People may think a lot of words to name me, to box me in, but I do not care. I am defined by what I am, what I do, and what I believe. NOT by what other people say about me. I will let them assume all they want. So let them come and talk about me. In my face, or behind my back.

Kevs.